“Are you Singaporean?” I asked the Asian woman in her twenties in 52D, the same row as mine. We were approaching the end of our 14 hour flight from San Francisco to Hong Kong, the layover stop for my onward journey to Singapore. After we had boarded the Boeing 777 at San Francisco International, we must have been both equally delighted to find the middle seat between us remaining empty. At least I was. I minded my own business, watched a few movies and eventually even got some sleep.
But towards the end of the flight I thought I should make an effort. The whole main theme of my trip was to get out of my comfort zone and, even though people who know me might be surprised, I am actually not someone who can just talk to anyone and be social. I have to defeat that inner child who is scared of rejection almost every time.
More often than not however, I am winning this battle. As I did on said long haul flight.
“Are you Singaporean?” was my question, innocent enough, I thought.
“No,” she responded firmly, but with a wide smile. Which indicated to me that it was worth a follow up. Throughout the remaining two hours, I would find out that she was actually from Indonesia and that she was visiting family there. She would meet up with her mom and aunt at the airport in Singapore, spend a few days there and then take a ferry to her home town. She herself had been living in the US for eight years.
Taking the first step is always hard. It takes effort to do something. Especially when it is not “necessary”. You can watch another movie, get up and stretch a bit, read a book, whatever. But the most memorable things from any plane journey I have ever undertaken are usually conversations with fellow passengers. Airplanes and airports are such melting pots of cultures where people from all over the world come together and need to get along out of necessity, despite cultural or linguistic differences.
Sometimes I don’t talk at all on flights. Sometimes I talk the whole flight with a passenger. It depends on who you get and the mood I am in. But taking that first step, probing and challenging your fears in order to possibly have an encounter with an interesting person and their life story…always worth it for me. Worst case: you get nothing and you binge-watch Breaking Bad on the inflight entertainment system.
Backstreet Boys
On my flight from Singapore to Bangkok I was seated in the same row as a young couple in their thirties who were traveling to Bangkok for a quick shopping trip. Well, not quite. The main reason was actually that they had tickets for the sold-out Backstreet Boys concert. They missed the boyband (eh, manband?) in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur, so they just decided to catch them in Bangkok. I was quite surprised. First, that the Backstreet Boys are still around (I am really out of touch with these things) and that these guys, just a few years younger than me, decided to watch them live.
Throughout the flight I learned quite a few things about them, their backgrounds, most interestingly that Anthony, the husband, used to work for the Singaporean government, but decided to quit his job in pursuit of something more fulfilling. Today he is a social worker, directing and educating Singaporeans towards mental health services that the government provides.
Snacks with Strangers
The flight from Chiang Mai to Bangkok on Bangkok Airways, a Thai low cost carrier, felt initially like we were lining up for a local bus. People were pushing and shoving at the boarding gate, it was late, I was tired. We had to take an airport bus to the actual plane and I was expecting an Airbus or Boeing model from the eighties at best, with wooden interior panels, duct-taped together and chewing gum residue on the tray tables.
Well, I can safely say that my prejudice towards airlines I have never used in locations I have never been before suffered a severe blow into its cojones. The actual plane was an almost brand new Airbus A321, clean, modern, nice. I had a window seat and a Thai couple, both of them a bit on the chubbier side, settled in next to me. I was still a bit agitated by the rudeness of some people during boarding, so I kept to myself, but not for long.
The couple took some pictures of themselves with their smartphone before takeoff. “Picture? Together?” the boyfriend next to me asked me, alternately pointing at me and him, holding his smartphone in the other hand. They wanted a selfie with me? Well sure! It wasn’t quite clear whether it was because I seemed to be the only “Westerner” on the plane and therefor exotic or whether they really thought I was that good looking. The former most certainly.
During the flight, they ordered some snacks from the inboard service, those types of biscuit sticks covered in chocolate, similar to Pocky. They had gotten two packets, the guy opened the first one and half way through, he offered me a stick. And then another. And another. And then we split the last one between the two of us. I was blown away. I was already set in my opinion that I just have to endure this flight with seemingly unfriendly, unruly co-travelers, and then the two next to me are sharing a snack with me that I refused to buy for myself because I thought it was too expensive. I was moved by their kindness.
Those encounters, as small as they might have been, are just as much part of traveling as seeing that landmark or visiting that beach. To me, they are even more important. Because you won’t find them listed in any Lonely Planet guidebook.
